Personality
by STARFIRE67
Summary: 'I need to do this. If I don't I'll be all alone, friendless. No one cared before, so I have to change that. Besides, I'm better this way. It's all better this way! I can get better. I will get better.' North and South Italy will try anything to be perfect. But how can they be perfect when they're falling apart at the seams? Dark!N. Italy, depressed!S. Italy, no pairings.
1. Prologue

**A/N: I probably shouldn't be posting another story. But I don't give a shit. ;)**

**I ****_do _****hope y'all will like this though.**

**Disclaimer: STARFIRE67 does not hold any claims to Axis Powers: Hetalia. All rights belong to Hidekaz Himaruya, the creator of said anime/manga.**

* * *

He looked at himself in the mirror. And he hated what he saw.

Auburn hair (too dark, not like Veneziano's) fell messily, while green flecked hazel eyes (not a golden color, like Veneziano's) stared back at him, jaded and cold. The bitterness in them made them appear dark (not happy and cheerful, like Veneziano's) and his wayward curl (on the right side of his head, unlike Veneziano's, which was on the left) seemed to droop, like a wilting flower in the early winter.

Why couldn't things be fair?

Why did people have to like Veneziano more? His brother was just one half of their country-surely that had to count for something, him being half of Italy?

It didn't seem so.

He shook his head, his curl bobbing with him, and he turned to walk out of the bathroom.

* * *

**A/N: Short, but just the beginning. And things will not look up for Romano in the near future, but by the end everyone will have a happy ending, I promise. Also, North Italy will be slightly evil in this. Not forever, but there's a reason, I swear! Don't hate me! Actually, multiple characters will be slightly OOC. Things will look up though!**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: Here's the official chapter 1...people are going to hate me...**

**Disclaimer: STARFIRE67 does not hold any claims to Axis Powers: Hetalia. All rights belong to Hidekaz Himaruya, the creator of said anime/manga.**

* * *

South Italy wasn't exactly a social butterfly. He didn't attend many parties or talk to many nations. He also didn't adapt very well to change, either. He didn't have many good memories of current times, but then, he didn't have many good memories of his childhood either. But there was one time he remembered feeling a sense of pride, a sense of belonging, if only for a few, very short seconds.

He had been (unsuccessfully) trying to learn Spanish from none other than Spain himself when Spain's boss had come by to check on them.

She'd asked how Italy's studies had been coming along. Not Romano, not South Italy, Italy.

She had called him Italy. And he wouldn't forget that.

It had felt so good, to be recognized as a part of Italy (so good, in fact, he'd forgotten to restrain himself in the face of the pretty woman). But South Italy was tired of trying to tell others that he was South Italy, that he was Italy, including his own brother, and simply didn't care anymore.

Or, he tried not to.

But it always stung when Spain would call for "Ita" and when Germany would train with "Italia" and when the northern half would introduce himself as "Italy."

It always hurt. He'd just gotten tired of saying so, tired of letting his words fall on deaf ears.

And so he was Romano. But it was fine.

He told himself this.

The only reason he was so rude was because he needed to be. Romano had to withdraw when it got too bad-even when he was a child. When Nonno Rome had taken his brother, and not him, when he looked at their artwork and even when he just looked at them. Rome would look proudly at his youngest grandson, but when he would turn towards Romano his eyes darkened. He was disappointed in Romano.

And Romano just didn't know _why_.

He also wondered why he'd let Spain drag him to this party, especially considering it was the potato bastard's house. He sat in the corner, away from other nations that would just hurt him even more (no matter how unintentional).

His brother sat with that potato lover, while Spain and his "Bad Friends" paraded around looking for trouble, as always. Romano simply hummed a tune about tomatoes that was far too cheerful and looked away.

"Fratellone!"

Romano looked at his brother. "Eh? What the hell?! Do you have to yell that loud?" His own voice was only a little quieter, but he ignored that.

"Ve~ You looked upset! I just wanna help you!" Veneziano smiled at him, eyes still closed. His curl bobbed up and down as Veneziano nodded his head slightly.

"Well, I'm fine dammit. You can go sit with that patate for all I care," Romano said harshly. He didn't believe his brother had given up being with Germany (for God's sake, he talked about the nation 24/7) just to comfort him. He couldn't believe it.

Veneziano hadn't done it before, so why should he start now.

"Hey, Veneziano, there's pasta over there," Romano said, pointing at a table on the far side of the room. Veneziano immediately turned ("Ve~ PASTA!") and dashed over to it. Romano stood and hurried to the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

Veneziano cared more about his pasta than his brother.

Romano felt like his heart had been torn up. No one really cared.

He sat in the bathroom, wiping his eyes, contemplating what to do.

And suddenly an idea hit him. It was a horrible idea, terrible, unforgivable. It was permanent, but once he thought it he couldn't shake it. He looked in the bathroom cabinet under the sink, and was delighted to see it offered him exactly what he needed-a razor.

It never occurred to him that even as he was picking up the blade, the northern half of his country was looking at the bathroom with a sinister air, eyes open wide, a cruel smile lighting his face.

* * *

**Fratellone-big brother (Italian)**

**Patate-potato (Italian)**

**A/N: I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry ****_I'm sorry_****. This is important to the story, I SWEAR. So please please ****_please _****be patient.**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: Did anyone catch the reference to the song last chapter? Did you have to go back and look at it to find said reference? XD It's okay if you did...now can you guess which song it it?**

**Thanks to all who have read, favorited, followed, and reviewed! It means a lot to me!**

**Disclaimer: STARFIRE67 does not hold any claims to Axis Powers: Hetalia. All rights belong to Hidekaz Himaruya, the creator of said anime/manga.**

* * *

Romano was torn. On the one hand, if he went through with this, he would never get to come back. He would be gone forever.

But if Romano didn't go through with this, he would be forever unhappy-and he would make everyone around him unhappy as well.

How could you be happy in a world where you were hated? Romano looked in the mirror once more.

And then, the image warped. The reflection's eyes narrowed, and it whispered, "Do it. They hate you; even your brothers. Spain, France, even Veneziano-or is he Italy?"

'No! We're both Italy, goddammit! He's the northern half, and I...I...'

"Are you trying to convince me, or yourself? Pathetic. Spain should've taken Italy."

'I'm Italy too...'

"But who is called Italy?"

No one answered, but the silence seemed to speak measures.

"You would be doing your brother a favor. Do it; the first and last thing you did as a good brother."

Romano felt like his heart had been shredded, but with great resolution, he gripped the razor tightly, moving towards the bathtub. He turned on the water, plugging the drain.

Romano felt the sharp blade against his wrist.

His hand trembled slightly before he sliced. He felt the pain, though he tried not to as he quickly repeated the process on the other wrist.

He realized that he'd made the cuts deep, and before long was feeling lightheaded.

The last thing he registered was how thunderous the music was. Who had turned it up so loud anyway? It was shaking the floor, it was so bad.

* * *

"Italy? What are you doing?" Germany wasn't used to Italy opening his eyes. He rarely ever did so, and when he did it was usually out of shock or fear.

"Ve~ I'm not doing anything, Germany!" He cheered, smiling. Germany felt there was something different about the two smiles, but shook it off.

"Ah, Ita!" Spain came over to the duo. "Have you seen Roma?"

"Fratello? Well, I saw him earlier, but then I went to get pasta and when I came back he was gone. Ve~ Did he leave?"

Germany frowned. He hadn't seen the older Italian either.

"But didn't he come here with you, Ita?" Spain asked.

"Oh! You're right! Ve~ Sometimes I really am stupid, huh?"

Germany glanced at Spain. Italy was really acting strangely.

Spain tried to walk over to him-and slipped. Germany and Italy grasped his arms to steady him.

"What the hell?" Germany said.

He went into the hallway, before slipping; the wooden floor was soaked in cold water.

"What the..."

He realized that it was coming from the bathroom, and called for Spain. Germany had a horrible feeling about Romano in that moment.

Spain was followed by Prussia and France, and others came upon hearing the German's tone. The buzzed nations' footsteps thundered through the house, as everyone ran towards him. Germany was hardly ever scared about anything-something must have happened.

Germany threw open the door-and recoiled in shock.

South Italy, Italy Romano was in the bathroom, bleeding from the wrists and face submerged in cold water.

* * *

**A/N: Cliffie. Don't you hate me? I know I would...**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: I have returned! *Music plays***

**I'm rather excited about the events in this chapter. I don't know about anyone else...**

**Anyway, here it is. ^^**

**Disclaimer: STARFIRE67 does not hold any claims to Axis Powers: Hetalia. All rights belong to Hidekaz Himaruya, the creator of said anime/manga.**

* * *

It took several seconds for the mass of nations to react.

Several female nations screamed, horrified at the sight of the Italian's limp body. America, France, and England all pulled out their phones and dialed a nearby hospital, arranging for an ambulance to come. Prussia slipped by Germany and ran to check up on the Italian, face grim with worry.

"He's alive, West," he told Germany. "Barely alive."

The wounds on his wrists were still bleeding, though the water had been turned off and was being drained. It took Germany several seconds to register that he himself had turned off the water.

"He's been unconscious for a while-that's good, in a way, because the heart slows down when you're out-but the water could make him sick. West, help me out here." Prussia picked up the half nation by grabbing him under the arms. Germany reached over and grabbed Romano's legs. Spain's eyes were wet with anxious tears for Romano.

"Oh Roma, mi tomate, mi hermano...Lovi..."

Romano was Spain's little brother, his old henchman. Of course he would be terrified for the Italian. Speaking of brothers-

"Ve~ Germany, what happened?" Italy asked, his voice lacking cheer, but not truly panicked. There were undertones of extreme emotion in his voice, but the German didn't focus on it. He wasn't in the mood to try and decipher Italy's thoughts.

"Your brother is in serious danger."

Italy gazed at his brother, his face unreadable. He hummed in thought, bouncing on his heels. He seemed anxious.

"Will fratello be okay?" Italy asked.

Germany looked hard at the Italian. He was getting distracted by the half nation; didn't he want Germany to help his brother?

"Italy, I'm trying to help your brother. You _do_ want me to help him, don't you?" Germany asked scrutinizingly.

"Of course, ve! Why wouldn't I?" Italy asked sadly.

Germany frowned but said nothing, still focused on the older Italian's wounds.

Bandaging the cuts was easy; keeping the Italian warm was not. Blankets were found and wrapped around Romano's shoulders. Spain held the Italian man close to his chest, not wanting to let go of his closest friend. Romano's eyes were still shut, but his body still trembled from the cold, though only slightly. His heartbeat was weak and fluttery-a bad sign if there ever was one.

"Sheiße," Prussia cursed. He turned to Hungary, who was looking out the window.

"It's here!" she yelled. Japan opened the door and ushered in several paramedics, who carried off the Italian.

"We can take some his family, if you'd like," one of them, a young woman said. "Is anyone here related to him?"

"I am," Italy said, stepping forward. His hands were clasped together behind his back. Spain thought about stepping forward, but realized that he wasn't blood related to Romano, and at any rate, the Italian probably wouldn't want to see anyone but his other half.

"All right. Anyone else? No? You can ride along. I'm afraid the rest of you will need to drive behind us," she said, addressing the others.

The nations nodded. This was serious business.

"Follow me," the woman gestured to the ambulance, and the two scurried outside, followed by the other nations.

* * *

**Mi tomate-my tomato (Spanish)**

**Mi hermano-my brother (Spanish)**

**Fratello-brother (Italian)**

**Sheiße-shit (German)**

**A/N: I'm finally getting over my writer's block. Bask in my epicness.**

**Actually, this is so short...I'm sorry! ;_;**

**Any thoughts or ideas or anything are appreciated! ^^**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: AGH THIS STORY FUCKING HATES MEEEE. WHY?!**

**...**

**Ahem. Sorry.**

**Anyway. We left off with Lovi being rushed to the hospital-and Feli is riding with him (shit). Let's see what will happen.**

******Disclaimer: STARFIRE67 does not hold any claims to Axis Powers: Hetalia. All rights belong to Hidekaz Himaruya, the creator of said anime/manga.**

* * *

Finishing off South Italy was too risky in the ambulance-too many witnesses, and too messy. Murdering your brother right under the noses of trained medical workers was just a _bit_ harder than an average bank heist or arranging a drug deal.

Romano was hard to kill, though, so maybe that was why North couldn't kill him. His façade of happiness and ignorance ha fooled mostly everyone, including his older brother.

"Fratello, mio fratello..." North murmured.

"Don't worry," said a paramedic. "He'll get well. Don't you worry."

North wasn't worried about South's recovery; he was worried that Romano would live.

North didn't want his strong, fiery, tougher brother's image floating and hovering over him, smothering him like a heavy woolen blanket. Nonno wanted Veneziano to be stronger and more warlike, similar to Romano. Germany probably always wished that North would be tougher and less cowardly like South.

Just that thought made Veneziano tense up in rage. He seethed silently right behind a paramedic, plotting the best way to wreak his vengeance.

* * *

The paramedic sped off behind the ambulance. How these people could all fit into a van together (more or less illegally, but they all fit nonetheless) was beyond her. The person next to her, in the passenger's seat (a handsome man with curly dark hair and anxious green eyes) was murmuring prayers under his breath in what the paramedic guessed was Spanish or some other similar Romance language.

Behind her, the dozens of remaining people had arranged themselves so that they could sit on the floor, between the seats, and, in some cases, on each other.

The paramedic couldn't think of a stranger group.

Pulling up right behind them, the paramedic noticed that a lot of the people behind her were whispering on their phones. They continuously referred to a boss of some sort, and some of them were getting rather frustrated.

The paramedic wondered if they were all working on some secret government project together. It would explain the secrecy...

_I need to stop looking at those conspiracy theory websites... _the paramedic thought to herself.

* * *

Romano opened his eyes slowly. He looked to his left, then to his right-and jumped.

His fratellino-his dear, sweet, _perfect_ fratellino was looking angrily at him.

"Buongiorno, fratellone," Veneziano said coldly. "Did you sleep well?"

He didn't even wait for an answer. "Good. We have some catching up to do."

* * *

**(Mio) fratello-(my) brother (Italian)**

**Fratellino-little brother (Italian)**

**Buongiorno-good morning (Italian)**

**Fratellone-big brother**

**A/N: This should not have taken me this long to write. I apologize for that.**

**I also apologize for it being so short. Please forgive me. ;_;**


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: OKAY. I'M BACK. WHOO.**

**This chapter should be at least a little longer than the last one. I will do my best to make sure it's longer for you guys, okay? Okay.**

**Disclaimer: STARFIRE67 does not hold any claims to Axis Powers: Hetalia. All rights belong to Hidekaz Himaruya, the creator of said anime/manga.**

* * *

"Look, mio fratellone," Veneziano said, slowly pacing back and forth in front of him. "We both know I'm not _that_ innocent or stupid. We also both know you're insecure and lonely. You're depressed. I'm depressed. We're both sad, annoying, depressed, lonely messes. And I finally know why.

"Germany always wishes I was stronger. That I could make more than pasta at wartime. That I wouldn't run from England constantly. Maybe that I could...be like you.

"Oh, that's not all for me, but we'll get to that later.

"And people wish you were sweeter. That you would smile. That you were friendly. Maybe, oh, non Io so...like me."

Romano didn't dispute it. Why deny any of the truths Veneziano was spouting?

"Fratellone, I'm going to be honest, I was surprised you tried to kill yourself in that way. Cut wrists are easy to fix, you know, but the drowning was a nice touch. It's a shame it didn't work," Veneziano commended. "You know, let's be honest, here. Would you have considered suicide if I hadn't been there?"

Romano's eyes widened. "N-no," he said hoarsely. "Perché?"

"Because if you weren't around, I wouldn't need to be like you," Veneziano snarled, getting very close to Romano's face. "I could be Italy and I wouldn't have to worry about you getting in the way."

"I don't think you need to worry," Romano snorted bitterly. "Everyone already loves you better."

"Yes," Veneziano said dryly. "And they also love me talking about pasta all the time and retreating all the time."

"They don't care," Romano retorted. "Just like they don't care about me."

"I have an idea, fratellone," the Northern Italian said, smirking dangerously. "It's a great idea. Lo amerete."

Romano sat silently...before leaning forward to hear it.

* * *

"May we go see Sr. Vargas?" Spain asked hurriedly. Usually he would be a little more polite, but he wanted to see Romano. He had a funny feeling about letting Italy and Romano being alone in a room. Hadn't they been alone just before Romano tried to kill himself?

Oh yes, Spain noticed things. Maybe not all the time, but he could notice things.

Like the fact that Roma was smiling _too widely_ and _too happily _and that Ita was frowning _really angrily _and _really big_.

"Uh...Roma? Ita?" Spain asked.

"Fuck do you want?" Ita demanded.

"Is something wrong?" Roma asked worriedly.

Spain stepped back a bit. He looked behind him at the remaining nations.

They all filed in carefully, a nurse following. The nurse quirked an eyebrow at him sitting up. "You're up rather fast, aren't you, Mr. Vargas?"

"Bellezza, I still can't get up, though...I think it's the blood loss," South pouted.

Pouted!

"Dumbass," North muttered under his breath. "Of course you would try to act all innocent."

What in hell was happening?

* * *

_"Fratellone, here's what we'll do. I'll act like you, and you'll act like me. See how they like that."_

_"But...what if-"_

_"See? You're already acting like me!"_

_"...I...fine. I'll do it."_

_"Good."_

My fratellone won't stand a chance... _North thought evilly. _Romano will kill himself before the end of the month. And if he won't...I'll do it for him.

**Mio fratellone-my big brother (Italian)**

**Non Io so-I don't know (Italian)**

**Lo amerete-you will love it (Italian)**

**Perché-why (Italian)**

**Sr. Vargas-Mr. Vargas (Spanish)**

**Bellezza-beauty (Italian)**

**A/N: I'm guessing you can figure out the plan. ^^ I'm just worried its not quite satisfying...**

**So...things are happening. Kind of. This is transitioning into a much bigger plan, but I'm not going to give details in this note. I don't do freebies like that. **

**...well...it includes attempted murder. Yes. That for sure. And also control over Italy (the land and people).**


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: LATE. I KNOW. PLEASE DON'T GIVE ME SHIT ABOUT IT (but I still love you all!)**

**I am so pumped for a new chapter. And I think you'll all like it. I really like this chapter (but that's just because I'm over writer's block again).**

**Disclaimer: STARFIRE67 does not hold any claims to Axis Powers: Hetalia. All rights belong to Hidekaz Himaruya, the creator of said anime/manga.**

* * *

The next day was very similar. Nations visited Romano in the hospital, and he greeted them happily.

"Ciao, Leon~" he said to Hong Kong, with whom the Italian had bonded over being passed around and thought of as worthless.

"Good morning," Hong Kong had replied emotionlessly. Hong Kong showed emotion around his close friends, Romano, Canada, England, and Belarus.

The five had been friends for various reasons: passed over in favor of someone better, disliked for being different, a shared fear of being hurt, etc, etc.

Hong Kong felt worried about the older Italian, which he brought up when he saw their other friends. The other nations had certainly noticed the change in both Italians, but it was almost as if they had...swapped. Like they had just changed into each other, personality wise.

Yes, nations grew irritated with their personalities; one was usually insufferably rude and angry, while the other was air headed and naïve. But everyone had their quirks and everyone had their differences. That made them human. And everyone had a reason behind who they were. For the Italian brothers to suddenly change personalities implied deep pain or hurt at the hands of the other nations.

But what could it have been?

* * *

The next visitors were Canada and England, a little before lunch.

"Buongiorno~" Romano sighed dreamily. Spain had snuck tomatoes into the hospital room on his previous visit and Romano had been able to eat one.

"Hello," England said as Canada nodded in greeting and murmured, "How are you?".

In truth, both were shaken by the Italian's sudden change in attitude. It wasn't every day that one of your closest friends up and changed himself for no known reason.

"I'm great!" Romano said, smiling widely. He looked more like a stranger than himself.

"That's good," Canada said in a strained tone.

England glanced at him, clearly showing they thought the same thing: _but we don't believe you._

"Leon visited you earlier, correct?" England asked.

"Sì! But he seemed kind of unhappy about something." At this Romano tilted his head. "Why would that be...?"

"Maybe his fireworks didn't work," Canada said.

"Maybe...ooh!" Romano said. "Fratellino visited me! And Seborga did too!"

"Oh?" England said, quirking a (large) eyebrow.

Romano nodded. "Feli asked if anyone had visited, and you all had! It's so exciting, seeing my friends!" He laughed then, a smile adorning his face.

They chatted for a few more minutes, about paperwork ("How's Feli doing?" "Oh, he's doing _fine._") and about when he'd be released ("They might let me out in a few days, after observation and evaluation.") before England finally said, "Natalia will visit later, Lovino, but Matthew and I really do need to finish up some paperwork."

"Aww," Romano said. "Well, I'll see you soon, right?"

"Of course," Canada reassured. "We'll try to visit tomorrow, if you'd like."

"That'd be nice!" Romano said, grinning hugely.

"Good. Have a nice afternoon," England said.

Canada nodded. "By, Vino," he murmured shyly.

Romano waved.

* * *

Finally, Belarus came by.

Belarus actually wasn't _quite_ as cold as people thought; she was really just a lonely and jaded person, like her other four closest friends. Lonely because of close-minded thoughts, jaded because of the world. It summed them all up very well.

But Belarus was fiercely protective, and the others were fond of comparing her to a mother bear: don't mess with her "cubs".

And right now, Romano was most definitely her cub.

"What were you thinking?" she scolded, hands on her hips.

"I don't know, Lia!" Romano said. "I was lonely...I don't know."

Belarus frowned at this. Had he really felt that lonely?

She was aware of his inferiority complex; not just because of his overshadowing brother, but also because of the high expectations. Had Romano really forgotten his friends cared about him so much?

"You do know we are here for you, don't you?" Belarus asked cautiously.

"I know," Romano said soothingly. He smiled gently at her, and for a second, Belarus imagined that he was smiling for real, not the fake ones he produced in front of everyone.

Belarus was eventually called by her boss, ordering her to finish her work, so Belarus was barely able to say goodbye for having to rush away, leaving Romano to himself.

* * *

_Lies. No one could possibly care._

* * *

Neither of the the Italian brothers slept much that night.

* * *

**Ciao-hello (Italian)**

**Buongiorno-good morning (Italian)**

**Sì-yes (Italian**

**Fratellino-little brother (Italian)**

**A/N: So...Romano and Veneziano forget they have friends. It's a sad place in their worlds. ;_;**

**Anyway, this is late because of school, and just because this is a hard story to write. It's not that popular (not that it matters), and I feel glad at the attention it currently has, but I don't know if I've bitten off more than I can chew...**

**So I apologize for the lateness. This is why I don't set update days. ;)**


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